everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
