For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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