another moral hangover. fuck.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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