Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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