he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
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Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
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But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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