I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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