I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
from now on my penis is your penis
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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