i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
