I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
