I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
