The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
