what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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