is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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