So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize