Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Even my vagina gasped.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
