You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
