im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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