Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
