why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
