i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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