I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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