Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
