we should wear snuggies to the strip club
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
