i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
