I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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