So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
