I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
