do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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