You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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