Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize