I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How's work?
Spinning.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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