Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
