Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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