some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
