But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Girls should come with a carfax report
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
