Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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