Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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