***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
