I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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