I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
