I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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