just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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