Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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