Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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