i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ladies don't puke and tell
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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