ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
