We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
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Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
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Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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