I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
