I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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