Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
