I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
