So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
