yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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