We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
