You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I checked into jail on foursquare
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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