Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
