Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My dick has a subreddit
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
