Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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