But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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