Someone shit on the floor
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
