Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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