Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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