As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My ATM looks so different sober.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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