don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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