I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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