you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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