just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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