I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
