I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
