I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I could fuck to npr.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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