I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
