i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I want a musical about memes.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
