I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
