Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
