Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize