I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
