$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize