the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
